How Many Sexual Partners Is Too Many? The Verdict Will Surprise You

There was no shortage of sexual partners in the HBO drama Sex and the City.

Each week we watched as protagonist Carrie Bradshaw and her friends scoured the streets of New York City, looking for the love of their life, or at the very least, a really good time.

The show helped normalize having a lot of casual sexual partners. Not just for men, but for women too. It eliminated the double standard, and it was groundbreaking.

Today, its viewers are adults with access to immediate connections with one swipe on their phone. There's more dating selection than ever. But how many sexual partners is too many?

This article will attempt to answer that question. And that answer might surprise you.

A Healthy Sexual History

When our ancestors were living through the Stone Age, they put very little thought into building relationships. Committing to someone in that way required a lot of time and energy. Chances are, having multiple sexual partners at that time was normal.

Of course, no one was asking our ancestors about their previous sexual partners.

Nowadays, technological advances and online dating have allowed us to build new connections like never before. Access to contraceptives and healthcare have helped make sex feel safer. As a result, many of us have an increased number of sexual partners.

The Benefits of a Healthy Sex Life

If you're single, you may be having casual sex to satisfy your desires and needs, and that's totally healthy.

There are a lot of health benefits to having sex.

Sex releases oxytocin, which can help you cope with negative thoughts. It can lower your cortisol level and as a result, your stress level. Orgasms can also improve your sleep.

Sex raises your levels of IgA which can boost the immune system. It can also lower the risk of heart disease.

Seeking sexual pleasure can decrease anxiety and get the blood flowing for a great workout. Overall, it can make you feel great!

The Risks of Multiple Partners

Of course, having multiple partners also comes with some risks.

People with more than 10 sexual partners are at a higher risk of STIs. Some of those STIs can lead to cancer.

Cancer is a higher risk for those with multiple partners in general. Cervical cancer, mouth cancer, anal cancer, prostate cancer, and penile cancer are all more likely if you have a lot of partners.

Having multiple partners can increase your chance of exposure to Hep B and Hep C as well.

If you do have multiple partners, it's important to be safe, and get STI screenings regularly.

So How Many Sexual Partners Is Too Many?

So now, for the big question! How many sexual partners is too many?

Well, it seems the answer to that question varies significantly depending on who you ask.

What's Your Number?

Recent surveys polled people to find out what the ideal number of previous sex partners was for a prospective partner. The surveys yielded significantly different results.

Surprisingly, there was hesitancy in dating a virgin or anyone with less than 3 sexual partners. In theory, those partners could seem inexperienced, or it could signal an inability to maintain a meaningful relationship.

At the same time, there was hesitancy expressed for anyone with a number higher than 14.

Statistically, men and women in America say 7.6 is the "ideal" amount of previous sexual partners for a partner to have. But in France, that number is closer to 10.

More than 32% of men and women admitted to lying about their sexual history. Many said they increased or decreased their number depending on the setting they were in.

It Depends on Who You Ask

The debate around the ideal number of sexual partners is due to a variety of factors.

Increased numbers of former sexual partners are more accepted in areas that are more socially liberal. It's less accepted in areas that are more conservative.

Religion also impacts how people view sexual partners. Those who are religious may also have less hesitancy to date someone with zero sexual partners.

The number of sexual partners seems to increase with age, but only until the age of 40 for women and 60 for men. This could be credited to the changing times of our society. Having multiple sexual partners seems to be more widely accepted now.

The Verdict: Don't Worry About Your Number

The results of these surveys prove that we shouldn't put a lot of weight on the number of sexual partners we have had.

Although people may think the number of previous sexual partners matters to them, they are more inclined to overlook a new partner's sexual history if they have other, more important redeeming qualities.

Open and honest communication is also respected in a new relationship. Being honest about your numbers may show a new partner that you are able to have tough conversations.

It can also open couples up to discussing their history, sexuality, desires, and the things that increase their sexual pleasure.

Erasing the Stigma

If you've ever asked yourself how many sexual partners is too many, you can put your mind to rest now.

The ideal number of previous sexual partners varies depending on who you ask.

Whether you're in a committed relationship or casually dating or solo sexing, what's most important is that you're having fun safely and respectfully!

If you're looking for ways to increase your libido or heighten your experience, we can help.